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It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a jellyfish!

According to at least one witness, an Unidentified Flying Object was reported over South Kearny the afternoon of Friday, June 17.
I know this because I get a Google alert every time the word “Kearny” appears on the web, and the other day up popped a story headlined “Disc-Shaped UFO Over South Kearny, New Jersey.”
Also a link to something called www.ufodigest.com, wherein you can find the entire article along with a (much too fuzzy) photo of the “spacecraft.” Envision a de-tentacled jellyfish.
According to the website, the witness was at work (place of employment not mentioned) when he (she?) and a co-worker saw the object.
They had gone outside at about 1:30 p.m. to watch the approaching thunderstorm when a bolt of lightning illuminated the thing in the sky.
The witness took a photo as the UFO traveled from south to north.
We tried to find a Kearny police report on the sighting, but apparently the unidentified witness did not file one.
Which brings us to a question: Why the flip not?
I mean, if I saw a UFO hovering over town, even down in the meadows, I would call 911, wouldn’t you? Suppose the thing landed? It could tie up Turnpike traffic for hours. The police should get some warning. As should Newark Airport.
Do not misunderstand. I am not making mock. I firmly believe there are aliens among us, as I have noted in this space before. As documented in the “Men in Black” films, they are here as guests and assume human (or animal) form during their visits
Some are obvious: Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Larry King. But the majority are relatively inconspicuous and go about their daily lives disturbing no one.
I feel sorry for many of them, because they are not as bright as we have been led to believe. Sure, their civilization managed to develop spaceships that travel faster than the speed of light, but that doesn’t mean the creatures driving the ships have high intelligence.
Their ships, like our autos, were created generations ago, and as with our autos, many of the beings now behind the wheel are complete idiots.
I suspect a lot of the aliens don’t even have driver’s licenses.
They certainly don’t know how to use the GPS. If they did, the UFOs would be seen over Vegas or Times Square or someplace else of interest.
Instead the sightings are always out in  the boondocks. The farmlands of Iowa. The deserts of Arizona. The swamps of South Kearny.
Poor aliens.

They really need a new travel agent.

— Karen Zautyk

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