Bank robbers I have known

Well, there was only one actually, at least that I’m aware of. He was, surprisingly, a…

Purple prose and vile puns

The 2011 Bulwer-Lytton prizes have been announced! This is something to which I look forward every…

We’ve Got Mail

To the Publisher: A week before Christmas I received a call from one of my oldest…

At cross purposes with nonbelievers

What is it with atheists and symbols of faith—particularly, it seems, symbols of Christianity? Not content…

We’ve Got Mail

To the Publisher, As a Kearny resident since 1986, and avid Observer reader, I would like…

’Scuse me while I kiss this guy

Today’s column is about mondegreens. These are not vegetables. “Mondegreen” is the term for a misheard…

Advice about (and for) carjackers

In light of the report of two “bump and run” carjackings in Kearny within 24 hours…

Sitting in judgment

Some years ago, I was a juror on a criminal case in New York City. There…

We’ve Got Mail

To the Publisher: I am writing this letter in total disgust. Like many of you, I…

The voice of the turtle is heard in the land

By now, you likely have heard about the great turtle invasion at JFK Airport, but if…

We’ve got mail

To the Publisher: Who would have thunk? Meat and potatoes — basic staple of the American…

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a jellyfish!

According to at least one witness, an Unidentified Flying Object was reported over South Kearny the…