News reports from around the globe

Photo courtesy Sussex Police

While local news stations were busy reporting on Anthony Weiner’s weiner (how can you NOT know if a crotch shot is of YOUR crotch?) and Gov. Christie’s Coptergate, other intriguing things were happening in the world. For instance:
Police in Hampshire, England, were alerted to reports of an “escaped tiger” – a white tiger, at that – lounging in the grass at a golf course.
The cops evacuated the course and a nearby cricket ground and scrambled a helicopter, snipers and exotic-animal specialists.  The truth was discovered when a thermal-imaging camera in a copter failed to register any heat from the beast’s body. It turned out to be a stuffed toy.
Some people were laughing at the police, but look at the photo: The thing was life-sized and it looks pretty real to me and if I saw its head poking through some weeds, I’d call 911 (or whatever they use over there), too.
At any rate, a local man has now confessed to dumping the cat. He said he found it in the trash, gave it to his dog as a toy, and when the canine tired of it, he discarded it. I hope they make him pay for the copter fuel.
Speaking of cases of mistaken identity, police in Independence, Mo., last week fired several rounds into an alligator that had been spotted lying next to a backyard pond. The gator turned out to be a concrete lawn ornament. They couldn’t have tasered it first? Reports are that some garden gnomes in Independence are now wearing bulletproof vests.
Over the weekend, more than 50 dogs took part in a surfing competition in Imperial Beach, Calif. (Video on YouTube.) According to reports, all proceeds from the event go to a website that “provides a space for public teachers in San Diego to request and receive funding for school supplies from private sponsors.”
And you thought N.J. had school funding problems?
Finally: Down in Canberra, Australia, a political firestorm erupted last week when a senator “meowed” at the finance minister, prompting accusations that the opposition party members  “behaved like sexists and goons, and were feral. “
Gee, I’d like to hear our politicos  meowing once in awhile. It’d be a lot more interesting than what they normally have to say. Except, of course, for Sarah Palin, who never ceases to fascinate.  Palin has now (in)famously explained that Paul Revere was actually warning the British: “He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”
Um …. okay.

— Karen Zautyk

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