KEARNY – From the Dept. of How to Make an Ass Out of Yourself, comes the following report:
On Sept. 11, at 11 p.m., P.O. Christian Medina and Derek Hemphill were on patrol at
Kearny and Bergen Aves. when they spotted a car with heavily tinted windows.
They stopped the vehicle, containing a driver and two passengers, at Bergen and
The driver was given motor vehicle summonses and sent on his way. However, one of
the passengers, a 21-year-old Kearny man (with “God’s Gift” tattooed on his chest) was taken into custody on an outstanding warrant, Police Chief John Dowie said.
The second passenger, 20 and also from Kearny, went to headquarters to bail out his
buddy. So far, so good.
Upon leaving, however, he decided to drop his pants and moon the desk officer, Lt.
Pursued by Sylvester, the mooner fled, running while simultaneously trying to pull
up his trousers. At the same time, P.O. Mike Santucci was arriving in his patrol car, saw the pursuit and cornered the man on Elm St.
The suspect has been charged with lewdness and resisting arrest.
It is not known if his posterior bore any indication that it was a gift.
(Editor’s note: This did occur on 9/11. Perhaps the young man was simply overwrought with grief.)
— Karen Zautyk